Sunday, May 11, 2014

Off my chest



OK, so my workstation has been getting some performance issues and I decided for reinstall.

Owning an imac mid 2011 on a bootcamp, I thought, "Hey, Why don't I install Maverick and see how that goes?"

Bad move.

The actual reinstall goes without a hitch. Soon after I am greeted with Lion's start screen. I set everything up and start. That's when I remembered why I just outright nuked OSX and put a bastard windows on an imac like a goddamn Frankenstein's monster.

I am met with an immediate annoyance. How the hell do Mac users live with their mouse acceleration? Seriously? Immediately I access the mouse setting. There is no way to check off the acceleration. I look up on the internet and there are few hits on forums.

Turns out, you have to access a TERMINAL to enter a command prompt just to disable the godfucking goddamn mouse acceleration.

Seriously, Steve? You couldn't even let people have the option of freedom of navigation? Were you so obsessed with smooth, butter-like movement you had to artificially choke the mouse by its neck?

Anyway so I had a bunch of shit to install so I moved on. It's not big of a deal, I thought.

So I heard of this Maverick guy, heard he's pretty cool. I think once my OSX has been upgraded to the latest and the greatest, I'm pretty sure everything will be easier and more streamlined for use. So where do I get the upgrade? Oh, the App store? Okay.

What? You want me to log in? Jebus. I haven't used the Apple id since iPhone 4, but okay. I guess I'll just have to look it up.

And then I naively thought I'd just simply access my NAS drive and retrieve my password document. Oh such innocence!

NOPE, says OSX. YOU WANT AUTOMATIC NETWORK DISCOVERY LIKE ON WINDOWS? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! HA HA! YOU'LL HAVE TO MANUALLY ENTER THE IP OF THE DRIVE YOU WANT TO ACCESS! HA HA!

Yeah. Never mind then. I never wanted to use OSX anyway.

I'll go back to Windows with no mouse acceleration and login-free windows updates.

I'll go back to easy-to-understand file structure with visible root folder.

I'll go back to simple short-cut icons on the background instead of your shitty launchpads, mission control, dashboard, and bunch of other arcane-sounding useless overlapping access methods.

I'll go back to consistent UI scheme instead of your rage-inducing random app-dependent UI changes.

Seriously, Just opening CHESS, you can't just press X to close it. The app DISABLES X. You can enlarge it, or fold it down, but NOT close. You must right-click the Chess icon on the DOCK to open a menu and click close to close. But you know what? Hey, how about that X button you so wanted.... ON A CALCULATOR? Yes! Calculator gets that close button you always wanted! Why? I don't know! Can Chess get one too? NO!

iMac, when I bought you, I seriously thought I was gonna move around a helluva lot. Turns out that didn't happen and now I'm sitting with a shitty all-in-one computer that is temp throttled and has no bios support - which means I can never disable hyperthreading or overclock. I do like your monitor's color quality, liquid (like from wet tissues) easily leaking into panel edges from the side not withstanding. I even upgraded you where you allow it - Ram to 16GB, HDD to SDD and whatnot. But seriously. You have problems man.

Bootcamp not supporting fan setting left you hot for months until I found a third-party program to manually alter the fan speed. The drivers that come with Bootcamp seems to include a ton of bloat too - so eventually after days of experiment I installed only the minimally required drivers - wifi, ethernet, and gpu. Shifting through wifi and ethernet drivers made by different companies was quite a challenge but eventually I came through.

But seriously, everything about Apple cries dictatorship. I love you iMac, but you need help. Your company needs help.

I remember that night at my sister's trying to install windows 7 on her 2009 Macbook. It wouldn't update and the Bootcamp drivers only supported Vista. I stayed up frantically trying to find the manufacturer for the wifi module and I was ecstatic when I finally found and downloaded the driver DIRECTLY from the manufacturer's website. The sun was just rising, and the birds were chirping all that jazz and whatnot by that time.
It would have been much easier had Apple disclosed all their part's makers, but no, they wouldn't want that, would they? The truth was revealed only after searching through hours and hours of random denizens of the internet tech supporting each other on the forums.

'If I could revive Steve Jobs, I'd kill him again with his god damned fruit diet of his.' I thought at the time. Well, not at the time. I thought of it just now but if Jobs had died back then I would have thought it.


As a semi tech-savvy person who is not technically proficient enough to sudo this and sudo that, but not totally illiterate enough to not mind the blatant file structure obfuscation, Windows seem to really does it for me. It's okay. It's fine. It's usable. It's simple enough and quite sufficiently robust. It has enough options but not too many. Just right.

So, my beloved iMac. Windows 7 is going to violate you once again tonight. I will violate you so thoroughly I'm going to first disable the UAC, turn features off, and by Gods, yes! I AM SO GOING TO go to performance settings and DISABLE VISUAL FEATURES.

Just to top it off, you know, I'm going to check 'show hidden files' too. HEH HEH.


But yeah, I wouldn't go as far as installing Windows 8.1 on you. No, even I wouldn't go that far.

I'm pretty nasty but I ain't no Hitler.